My "Coming to Jesus" Story
The lotus flower is exquisite, unique and carries its own strength, as it grows from the depth of muddy waters and slowly, gracefully rises above the surface with remarkable beauty. Not a far call from the strength of the human spirit -- born of out the mud to rise above the surface, revealing the beautiful bloom the rest of the world reveres. To me, the lotus flower represents the profoundness of trauma resolution and healing, despite the bitter struggle to be reborn out of the murky darkness and upwards toward the light.
As a survivor of trauma, developing Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and through the years of operating in fight-or-flight, my nervous system was jacked up beyond my knowing. It took me well over seven years to pick away at my trauma, drama and pain, until I discovered Quantum Neuro Reset Therapy; excavating the traumatic experiences from the very core. I was referred to QNRT from a friend who had went through the therapy to uncover unconscious beliefs and health issues. After embarking on my healing journey seven years ago with mediation, Reiki and craniosacral therapy, I decided to give QNRT a try, due to an adrenalectomy at age 37, and in full awareness I was battling adrenal fatigue and on the brink of exhaustion.
Essentially, my body was a 'Hot Mess' -- constantly in “warrior mode”, migraine headaches were debilitating, and I was easily triggered by the smallest upset, with my anxiety sky rocketing. I began to uncover destructive negative patterns and core drivers, which were rooted in false perceptions, but had negatively paved a path in my life, where I felt out-of-control, unable to express my emotions and completely co-dependent. I was completely locked up in my body; numb, couldn't feel or express myself and hardly ever cried. To my utter dismay and horror, I also uncovered the brutal reality I had been sexually abused at age four, by a family member (NOT my dad, who is one of the kindest and sweetest men I know) when I was incapacitated with a broken arm. The abuse happened on several occasions and this sole core wound, would set me up for half a lifetime of attracting abuser men, multiple self-sabotaging behaviors, and carrying continuous feelings of shame, blame and hurt to the complete annihilation of my nervous system; ultimately resulting in "killing" my right adrenal gland and my gall bladder.
The details continued to unfold as I was my memories began to unleash all the destructive pieces of the scenario. I was paid to do vile acts and paid off to keep my mouth shut, and as a result, I learned to doubt my perceptions and inner knowing. I was poor with money, spent recklessly and never had enough; embedded in my psyche: "Money is dirty. Money is bad. Get it away."
I not only carried unworthiness, shame, blame, unlovable, defective, and lacked boundaries, but I didn't even feel I was worthy to be healed. These traumas had remained dormant and embedded in my system for 41 years, wreaking havoc on my physical body, emotional body, mental body and spiritual body. Needless to say I was a sensory mess, quirky and awkward child, rigid, shy, clumsy, uncoordinated, and had difficulty as I grew up with opposite-sex relationships. Using QNRT, I sped light years ahead — healing years and layers of trauma, my skewed perceptions, negative life patterns, abandonment, unworthiness (to name a few), as well as my physical body. I can say without a doubt, as a client who personally went through the therapy and onto become a QNRT practitioner, I wholeheartedly believe QNRT can assist people when many other methods have failed. It literally saved my life. I took on hot yoga to initially lessen my anxiety, however, a 105 degree room for 60 minutes, allowed me access the memories with a “looser mind” and to connect with my body and intuition. QNRT pulled the trauma(s), one-by-one out of my body tissues and nervous system, and reset the pathways, so I could make different choices, eradicate limiting beliefs, while improving my health and wellness to the best its ever been.
Everyone carries trauma. On the continuum, trauma can range from feeling betrayed by your best friend at age six because they ditched you for another friend, to growing up with an alcoholic parent or the victim of emotional, sexual and physical abuse. What most people don't realize, is the brain is sending the body "messages" and the break down of your body may inadvertently be the result of these unresolved traumas and adverse emotional experiences. For someone experiencing the same core wound of sexual trauma, he/ she may go on to become an addict, gambler or use promiscuity as a vice. The trauma is embedded in the brain-body, however, the circumstances, age, and environment may dictate how the trauma continues to play out into adulthood. The significant lesson I’ve learned is not to judge another person for what they do, say or feel. You cannot tell what lies below the surface and the pain people have endured. As I continue to work as a practitioner and hear client's sacred stories, it puts me in a place of awe, and I am honored people trust me with the recall of negative experiences. We are then able to weave the past into a promising future, as we slowly untangle the brain-body and psyche from the holy terrors clients endured and are healing forward.
Through my healing journey, my spiritual self took a front seat and I finally figured out the reason I was here and meant to do with my life, through a combination of prayer, hot yoga, meditation and divine guidance from my ‘helpers.’ As I continued to quiet my mind, more and more messages came forth and I followed them, remaining true to my inner compass and surrendering to an even bigger plan than I could even fathom. One Sunday morning, I was treating a very sick patient in the skilled nursing facility. I remember asking in my head “Why are all these people so sick?” It was as if I was on a direct live wire to God that morning. I heard my answer “They have low vibration.” I then followed up with the question “Why is their vibration low?” to which I heard “Because they have trauma.” I became overwhelmed with excitement, as I suddenly understood with such blinding clarity. I was finally ready to ‘hear’ the answer, which spurred me into taking massive action.
Click here for short video on the Helix Healing Path Mission: To Heal body-mind-spirit to bring you into alignment with optimal health and wellness and to discover your authentic self.
When obscured by the ‘trauma masks’, one resorts to protective measures and maladaptive coping mechanisms just to live. The slow, continuous break down of the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual bodies, robs you of health and happiness for years, chocking it up to various other reasons than “deer-in-the headlights” trauma and negative life experiences. In nature, when an animal has endured trauma, the animal will shake to relieve the body of the trauma; resembling an epileptic seizure. When humans are subjected to traumatic events, and if no shaking occurs, the trauma remains stored in the body, triggering the Sympathetic Nervous System and virtually a sympathetic storm. I envision it like a pin-ball machine -- the ball (trauma) is pinging down the shoots until it “lands” (in the body) and there it remains as a lesion, energy cyst, pain, or ding until it is effectively dealt with.
Had I not taken this pilgrimage into my own shadow and demons, I wouldn’t be here today assisting others in healing their own physical and emotional pain. Please don’t continue to stuff, bury, avoid, deny or prematurely forgive. You’re traveling farther away from your best health and your unlimited potential. You, my friend, have more strength and resiliency than you realize. Become and embody the lotus flower.
Many blessings to all of you,