How Heavy is Your Mask

“In every adult, there lurks a child – an eternal child, something that is always becoming, is never completed and calls for unceasing care, attention, and education. That is the part of the personality which wants to develop and become whole.” – Carl Jung


The Inner Child is often a Wounded Child

The Inner Child aspect of our consciousness resides deep in our being and refers to our emotional body, which Carl Jung referred to this archetype as the "Divine Child." Our personalities emerge through development as a result of our genetic code, DNA, and the environment in which we experience. Quite often, many reoccurring issues which reappear into our adult lives revert back to the emotional wounds inflicted upon as a child, which inherently left a scar in the psyche and physical body of the individual. As an adult, in order for the inner child to feel safe and happy, he/ she seeks outside of themselves through experiences, behaviors, people, places and material objects.  The Inner Child will reemerge repeatedly throughout our lives, when the emotional needs are not being met. In order to heal the inner child aspect of our consciousness, we must fully recognize the desire to heal the wound, whether it is conscious or unconscious.


When you allow your ego to control your thoughts, everything you believe becomes an illusion.

The ego, or the masks we wear, will continuously take over, keeping the wound in the shadow aspect of our consciousness until we call upon it to reveal itself to heal. The strength of the mask, depends on the depth of the wound. The deeper the wound, the more we will suffer and the more we will wear our mask.  Wearing a mask means we are no longer ourselves as we take on different attitudes, and roles because we believe the attitude / role, will protect us.  It stifles us from living from a place of authenticity and impacts our ability to show vulnerability to one another, for fear of appearing weak or to prevent us from being hurt again.  Unresolved fears will also suppress us from expressing our uniqueness or pursuing what we truly dream of.  This only serves to compound our fears and doubts, adding more layers to our masks.  "Can you remember who you were before they told you what to be?" - Charles Bukowski

Think of roasting a marshmallow.  Prior to roasting the marshmallow, both the inside and outside is uniform -- soft, mushy and gooey.  Our softness is what was present before inner child wounding.  It is often what we truly feel inside; the desire to love and be loved and possibly to act sweet and 'mushy' towards others. Inner child wounding damages the mushy interior. The marshmallow is thrust into the fire and is reduced from 'lightly browned' to 'burned to a crisp.'  Once burned, it is quite difficult to remove the crispy, armored shell without the marshmallow completely falling apart.  It takes diligence, awareness, desire and complete trust and unconditional love for yourself to bite through the crispy, burnt exterior to get to the middle, which is now extra gooey and extra mushy under all the burnt armor.  And the day arrives when you finally acknowledge "I want to dig, discover and relinquish the mushy, gooey marshmallow inside me again", and so the healing journey commences.

“Most survivors grew up too fast. Their vulnerable child-selves got lost in the need to protect and deaden themselves. Reclaiming the inner child is part of the healing process. Often the inner child holds information and feelings for the adult. Some of these feelings are painful; others are actually fun. The child holds the playfulness and innocence the adult has had to bury.” -- Laura Davis, "Allies In Healing: When the Person you Love is a Survivor of Child Sexual Abuse."





The Five Wounds of The Soul

Each time we suffer or cause suffering in others because of our wounds, our whole being feels betrayed. We are not being faithful to the needs of our being or our soul because we let the ego, with its beliefs and fears, control our life.  In order to sufficiently navigate through life with all the paths and turbulent waters, we create masks to hide from ourselves or from others and to hide behind the wounds we haven’t yet wanted to resolve and heal.   Lise Borbeau, French-Canadian author of “Heal your Wounds and find your True Self” characterizes five soul wounds of childhood, which equates to five masks we will don and wear as a measure of self-protection. When we do not accept ourselves or our experiences, and we continue to feel guilty, ashamed, afraid and judge ourselves in other ways or exhibit any other form of non-acceptance, we will continually attract circumstances and people to make us relive the same experience. This awakens to us into taking action to get off the "karma bus" and to discontinue re-purposing these experiences.  A person will exhibit one primary wound, however, a person can exhibit all five wounds at varying degrees and depths, dependent on the wounds inflicted in early childhood.



  • The Wound of Rejection is a very deep wound brought on from conception to birth, by the parent of the same sex.  The rejected individual feels they don’t have the right to exist or be here on earth.
  • The rejected question their right to exist and often live in an imaginary world. Withdrawers are generally good, calm children who don’t make noise. Withdrawer children play alone in imaginary worlds or have their head in the clouds during the school day.
  •  They think they are hopeless, worthless, seek solitude, and are withdrawn. The can easily disassociate, and often feel misunderstood.  As an adult, he/she may experience sexual difficulties. Panic is their greatest fear.


  • The awakening of the wound is brought on between one and three years old, generally by the opposite sex parent, however, the same sex parent may also inflict this wound.
  •  Characterized by lack of attention or the desired type of affection.
  • The dependent plays the victim and needs to bond.  Needs presence, attention and above all support. The dependent also has a difficult time doing or deciding alone. May cry easily and exhibit sadness.  Can be observed to physically hangs onto others.
  • In adult life, likes sex, attention and seeks independence.  Solitude is their greatest fear.


  • The awakening of the wound is between one and three years old with the parent who took care of physical development, which is generally the mother.
  • The Mask of Masochism is characterized by lack of freedom and feeling humiliated by that parent’s control.
  • He/she is frequently ashamed of themselves or fear making someone ashamed of them. They know their needs, however, don’t satisfy them willingly and they control to avoid shame.
  • Masochists are often oversensitive and want to feel worthy.  The often punish themselves believing they're punishing others.  Their biggest fear is freedom.


  • The awakening of this wound is between two and four years old with the parent of the opposite sex.
  • The Mask of Control is characterized by a breach of trust or unfilled expectations in their love connection and manipulation.
  • He/she believe they’re responsible and strong. they don’t keep their promises and commitments or force themselves to keep them. Controllers are observed to lie easily, are manipulating, charmers, and moody.
  • They have great expectations and are convinced they’re right and try to convince others. Controllers are observed to be impatient and intolerant. They don’t confide easily or show their vulnerability due to fear of broken commitments. Their biggest fear is dissociation, separation and being cast aside.


  • Awakening of this wound is between three and five years old, brought on by the parent of the same sex.
  • The Mask of Rigidity is characterized as perfection, often blocking their individuality.
  • They exhibit high need for control within themselves and perfectionism. They are often envious of others, cut off from feelings, and perform to be perfect.  Rigid individuals are very lively, dynamic, and over-optimistic.
  • Rigid individuals have difficulty asking for help and don’t admit they have problems.  They often compare themselves and have difficulty receiving in general.
  • They find it unfair to receive less than others but even more unfair to receive more. Rigid individuals don’t respect their own limits and are often very hard on their bodies, refusing to take breaks, however rarely become ill. They are known to tidy, controlling the cleanliness of their environment.
  • Rigid individuals are quick-tempered, exhibit coldness, and difficulty showing affection to others.  Despite their coldness, their greatest fear is becoming known as cold towards others and lacking affection.


How does Quantum Neuro Reset Therapy heal the Inner child and early wounding?

Quantum Neuro Reset Therapy uses a unique proprietary protocol, which will access the deep-seated childhood wounds and bring them to the surface to be healed.  Just like a pot of vegetable soup, the cold laser utilized in the reset, stirs up the potatoes or carrots (past wounds and trauma) and brings it to the surface to be healed.  QNRT accesses the hypothalamus to reset the neurological pathways, and shifts the brain to a higher level, required for healing and expanded consciousness.  It will also reset DNA patterns, inherited from our parents and ancestors, to allow us to evolve into a higher state of existence with increased awareness and appreciation of our body-mind-emotion-spirit connection.  This forges a new path to grow into wholeness as we heal those early wounds; thus reducing the trauma and eliminating the drama.  We are all onions with our many layers of pain and trauma. With every reset, layer by layer is peeled away until the true essence our being shines through at its core.

The ego believes it’s always taking the easiest path, however, is complicates our lives further when we strive to wear the mask, which impacts the body, depleting its reserves and impacting hormonal function.  When intelligence governs our lives, it is at first difficult, because we have to make an effort, but in the end, is simplifies our lives significantly. When you light a strong enough lamp, the darkness disappears.  The wounds or the dark aspect of the self retreats into the shadows, as you come to terms with your past, your pain and embrace the reality that it no longer rules you. Genuine freedom of the self is embodied when the inner child wounds are healed and allows us to be authentic as unique individuals, and to share our gifts in the world.

© 2018 by Jodi Lawyer, M.A., OTR/L. Helix Healing Path. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author name and a working link back to this website. All other uses are strictly prohibited.

4 thoughts on “How Heavy is Your Mask”

  1. I’m very interested in this healing. “How heavy is your mask?” I’m in MN as well. Please advise cost and if you accept insurance. Thanks!!

    1. Hi Tonya,
      Thanks for your inquiry about QNRT. I’m going to shoot you an email to the one you provided in your response to help answer questions privately. It’ll come from [email protected]. Thank you 🙂

  2. Wow, outstanding description defining unacceptable inhumane

    treatment, in my opinion, it’s worse than death. Depletion of one’s

    lifeforce directly shows catastrophics desruction of the human sole.

    I too share the hurt and suffering. 28 years ago I gave birth to my son.

    Labor lasted around 18 hours and in and out of conciosness, exhaustion took its toll. Josh stoped breathing and a emergency C section took place . After, Unaware i was sleepin i woke up in a dark basment with a dim light looking around the call button was not placed so I could reach it, as I tried to move but felt paralized watching the clock 3 hours after once in room learned my dad held him first asking to get him from the nursery they determined I was running a fever due to a staff infection again I keep asking tot hold him they said no and visitors went to nursery 3 to 4 days passed before i was allowed access to my child . unfathomable to endure . As time went speech therapy ADHD learning defects special Ed counseling Josh and I did everything the said Dr s and school showing signs of schytzopherin, tattered and defeated psychosis set in being jail at 16 to sentencing led to prison now hes been to prison twice I AM BEYOND HOPE FOR OTHERS TO CARE , MY INTENSE FEELING OF URGENCY TO GET TO HIM IS OVERWHELMING I FEEL LIKE I WILL DIE IF I DONT EXPRESS AND REMIND HIM I WAS THERE HOLDING LOVING HIM BUT I ASSUME INTENTIONAL TORTURE TO CONTROLL HIM. AND MONITOR FOR RESEARCH I DONT GET WHY HE IS ALWAYS KEEPT FROM ME. A MOTHER AND SON DENYED TO BOND 28 YEARS IRREPLACEABLE

    1. Hi,
      Thank you so much for reading the post and your heart-felt response. I feel your pain as you were writing this and it sounds like you’ve endured alot over the years. I’m sorry for all that you’ve been through.

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