Why affirmations don't always bring you what you want
“The moment you change your perception, is the moment you rewrite the chemistry of your body.” Dr. Bruce H. Lipton
Affirmations have a sacred place in our daily rituals, however, do you see the results you want? How often have we repeatedly relied on affirmations, prayers and positive thinking to summon into our lives: friends, weight loss, increased wealth, health, the perfect job, love, new home, and the list goes on.
While we all have wonderful intentions of bringing all these fabulous gifts into our lives, however, the simple fact is that our unconscious brain is in the driver’s seat 97% of the time and this unleashes a powerful force onto our psyche and body. We are led to believe affirmations do not work, or more importantly "I want them to work within the specific timeline I have deemed."
Brain chemistry influences how our body, thoughts and emotions operates, which inadvertently also impacts our emotional expression with ourselves and others and self-perceptions. When we feel emotionally stuck, there is always a biochemical potential for change and possible growth. Perhaps you make a practice of daily affirmations and setting intentions to boost your day. You may say out loud or in your head 20 times a day (just to make sure ‘someone’ is listening), “I am smart. I am rich. I am worthy. I attract all good things. I am happy.” What if your subconscious wants nothing to do with bringing all those good things into your life? What if everything you do and say brings the opposite to you? This ultimately results in frustration, devastation and feeling hopeless - as if your attempts are futile.
“The Secret” will tell you over and over you have to feel good to bring what you want into existence. You can summon anything you want by feeling good and imagining it. I’d like to offer a caveat to this thinking: you CAN have everything you want with a few conditions:
1) Matthew 21:22 "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." You must be a vibrational match to receiving what you desire. You might want it, ask for it, pray for it, but do you truly believe it? The universe / God will give you what you desire, however, every single block that you have stored inside you, both conscious and unconscious, will show up for you to clear before you are in alignment with receiving the gifts you ask for. Some desires will be easier to manifest than others depending on the perceived size of the desire/wish/problem. There is no such thing as size in the universe, but your thoughts will make it into an insurmountable obstacle. What lowers your vibration or frequency? Negative thought patterns, unresolved traumas and continuously feeling sadness, guilt, shame, hopeless, depressed and despair. Thoughts carry their own vibration and so do spoken words.
2) You must make your unconscious thoughts conscious. According to Carl Jung, a famous Swiss psychoanalyst, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” This means clearing negative patterns, which are usually brought on in childhood and are mostly unconscious, mucking up our system. Some of the most devaluing negative patterns are ingrained early on, which sets a person up for continual hardships in many aspects of life and relationships. Negative patterns may be disguised as Subjugation, Failure, Defective, Unrelenting standards, Social Exclusion, Mistrust, Emotional Deprivation, Dependence, Unlovable, Abandonment, entitlement, Vulnerable, Abuse and Protection.
- Subjugation appears in the individual as constantly feeling others are controlling you, the fear of disappointing others, and putting others before oneself.
- Failure shows up when you are always worried about what others will think and are unable to resolve conflicts quickly.
- Defective negative pattern is the underlying feeling of being flawed, unworthy, shameful and humiliated. This is can set one up for continuously self-sabotaging in all areas of life.
- Unrelenting standards as a negative pattern is the tendency to put unobtainable standards on oneself or others that are impossible to accomplish. This can also appear as obsessive and compulsives behaviors.
- Social Exclusion presents itself as emotional pain associated with being excluded in some manner in the past, which bring forth the feeling of not fitting in or not belonging.
- Mistrust will manifest as the overall belief that people cannot be trusted and the expectations that others will lie, manipulate, humiliate, harm, or take advantage of you.
- Emotional depravation is a big hindrance. This negative pattern is the feeling of being unable to give or receive love, be understood or feel safe in relationships. This includes difficulty in expressing oneself emotionally.
- Dependence is the overwhelming feeling of being able to handle everyday life without help. Running away as a coping strategy gives lead to dependence behaviors and may manifest as feeling trapped, anxiety and panic attacks.
- Unlovable is another prevalent negative pattern. This pattern leads to Feeling guilt /shame if others love you and expecting the best, yet settling for less. It is easy to give love, however hard to accept love or vice versa.
- Abandonment issues are especially at the forefront with adopted or fostered children. This negative pattern presents as the overwhelming fear that those you love will leave you, due to loss of love early in life. It may show up as difficulty connecting to others in meaningful ways.
- Entitlement. Ahh yes, rules don’t apply to me, I deserve to be treated better, I am entitled to nice things, I am better than most. There is a prominent struggle with understanding others, yet the individual wants to be treated better. This may also result in impulsivity. This negative pattern is vastly different than the positive notion of being worthy of receiving good things in an abundant universe.
- Vulnerable negative pattern appears as unrealistic fears and worried in excess. Too much mental energy is spent trying to avoid the fears. It is hard to take actions, avoid risks, and anxious about the future due to emotional hurt or physically violated earlier in life.
- Protection is negative pattern, which is quick to attack other because you’re afraid they will attack you. A person may retreat from a relationship before being hurt. Over protect yourself but find yourself more vulnerable, excessive worry and over protection of children, pets and loved ones.
- Abuse. This negative pattern is continuously running the thought that people can’t be trusted to do what they say. The person becomes Emotionally numb, over protective and controlling as a result of being victimized early in life, resulting in emotional volatility.
Can you visualize how these negative patterns rule your unconscious thoughts? You want the love of your life and yet you carry the negative pattern of vulnerability or emotional depravation. You want to trust people, but you were abandoned early in life. You consciously want x,y or z, but your unconscious thoughts and body chemistry are presenting subjugated, failure, mistrust. When these patterns are not adequately addressed and released, you ride the merry-go-ride of life without truly making lasting changes, because your body chemistry is hard-wired to return to the same pattern over and over. During my own stent of 27 quantum Neuro reset therapy resets, five negative patterns were excavated - digging deep into my unconscious psyche. As I journeyed through the healing cycle, I reflected on my childhood and into adulthood, and it provided a significant amount of clarity and admittedly, sadness, as to how these patterns set me up in life with my own health and relationships. BUT, I did overcome and heal them to highest level for me, and you can too.
You may need to go through blaming and shaming first before you fully take the reigns. Ultimately, it is your suffering, however, you alone, have the power to change your life. It is a chance to look at what's not working in your life and making a conscious decision to heal and overcome these negative patterns, setting you up for success in life.
3) Your soul knows “Plan B”, as you are not yet aware of this magnificent plan on a conscious level. This is a contract between you and God/Source/Creator. As you become more in touch with your guiding intuition, which is essentially your soul speaking, you will begin to connect the dots readily. This is especially true if you’ve healed much of your unprocessed trauma, and limiting thoughts. You're able to dial into your intuition with ease because as you clear out the junk in your body/psyche/emotions, your vibration will rise. How do you feel when you are happy? You feel light, airy; a feather. This equates to high vibration. Now think about the saddest time in your life - when you couldn't pull yourself out of trenches. I've been there myself and I felt like a rock, heavy, listless; walking through thick mud. This is low vibration and can literally distort your energy for years without even knowing. The universe wants us to have everything. As souls living in a human body, this is part of shedding the ego and all the limiting barriers that prevent us from accessing all that is our birthright. So keep on evolving and working through the muck and the mire - amazing things are in store for you!
Another piece to consider is the concept of divine timing, which doesn’t mean “right now.” It means when you are fully aligned with what you desire and are not continuously back pedaling or self-sabotaging. As I'm writing this, this childhood song is being downloaded right now:
"If you're happy, and you know it, clap your hands (clap, clap). If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands (clap, clap) If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it. If your'e happy and you know it, clap your hands (clap, clap)"
You can affirm your affirmations with your positive thoughts and intentions. Just know there may be extensive inner work that requires attention before you can truly have the life you want. Then you'll be happy and you know it (clap, clap).
© 2017 by Jodi Lawyer, M.A., OTR/L. Helix Healing Path. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author name and a working link back to this website. All other uses are strictly prohibited.