"So many of leading limited lives not because we have to, but because we THINK we have to." -- Bruce H. Lipton, Ph.D.
Lately I’ve noticed the increased amounts of online programs offered on social media. It appears we are inundated with a myriad of quick-fix remedies; dangled in front of us, in the hopes to bite, or subscribe to: “How to find love in 27 days”, “Lose ten pounds in three days”, “Five easy steps to financial freedom”, (insert your own), and the list goes on. In all honesty, I’ve become somewhat annoyed and irritated by these so called fast-track success stories.
Here’s the truth. There are no short-cuts. If you’re lucky to find love in 27 days because you follow a prescribed program, you’re one of the special .1% of the population, and most likely at the tipping point of finding your soul mate anyway, because you'd already done “the work."
Pay no attention to the Man Behind the Curtain...
Remember in the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy journeys to Emerald City to ask the Wizard for help. The wizard tells Dorothy “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.” Through the journey she discovers she has everything inside she needs to succeed: courage, brains, and heart to lead her home. Incidentally, emeralds have their own special meaning. Emeralds represent “a seeker of love and a revealer of truth, inspiring an ongoing search for meaning, justice, compassion and harmony.” L. Frank Baum was onto something back in 1900. The man behind the curtain doesn’t hold the solution. Dorothy is her own solution, as you are the solution to your inner reality.
(My daughter and I at Emerald City Park, Chicago, IL)
It’s an inside job – alchemizing the inside to create a different reality. Doing “the work” is what catapults us from point A to Point B. Everything in our realm that doesn’t feel good or peaceful in our lives is a reflection of what’s going on inside. For example, If we don’t like our money situation (i.e. how much we make, our debt to income ratio, are we struggling to make ends, are we genuinely enjoying life), then it’s up to us to re-write our money story, but in order to do this, we have to go deep, use the “backhoe” to excavate the dirt and rocks, to discover how we view money and how we assign a value to money. The same is true for another reality, such as “why do I keep attracting people who will leave me” or “why do I quit everything I start?” I’m going to share my personal money story to illustrate this point and how deep self-sabotaging behavior goes.
For my entire life, I have experienced difficulty with money. I had trouble saving, I seemed to spend it faster than I made it and no matter what kind of a budget I made, I could never stay within it. I even jokingly said to my best friend a few years back, “I think I must’ve robbed a bank in a past life.” She always tried to reassure me that I was okay, but I knew something wasn’t right as this wasn’t normal, even though I tried over and over for years, without success.
When I finally arrived at the time in my life when I chose to do “the work”, well, let’s just say, Pandora’s Box opened. In my quest to go deep, I discovered I was sexually abused when I was almost four and had remain repressed for 45 years. Eventually I grieved and accepted the fact I was abused and worked towards healing my sexuality, the emotional pieces and physical components. Little by little, I was “shown” through downloads, and bits and fragments of my memories were strung together to make a completely preposterous, picture: I was threatened with acid or some kind of chemical to be poured on me if I didn’t comply, abused with an object, oral sex, then paid to keep me from telling anyone and taken to Dairy Queen for a tasty little treat and the perfect little cover up. I am not using this article to go into the emotional depth of the intense amount of healing that needed to happen, so please forgive if I appear flippant. It was intensely traumatic and my heart goes out to all survivors of any sexual trauma. I’m simply illustrating how deep a trauma such as this, embeds in the psyche and may adversely impact a person for life, until it is literally pulled from the depths. I worked tirelessly to re-calibrate the “bar” of my self- worth, as my body interpreted I was only worth a few dollars. Such a sad reality for someone who always aspired to do well in college and graduate school, land great jobs and work with amazing people throughout my career. So finally, after 47 years, I uncovered why my money story was so excruciatingly terrible and why I was addicted to Dairy Queen. I’ll save Dairy Queen for another time – I’m still working on my ice cream addiction.
The truth of any situation is, if you want a different outcome in your life, you need to do the work. It’s an Inside job. When you do the inner work, you can rewire the brain with various methods, and are able to finally let go of limiting beliefs. It doesn’t happen in 27 days or five easy steps. We are continuously evolving and once your outer reality is aligned with your inner reality, that’s when miracles show up. Real inner work drives you to a place where you find the courage to reach deep and go where you haven’t gone before because the life you’re living, is no longer suitable for what you know you want and deserve.
I highly disparage the concept of everything we do is a choice. In one aspect, yes, it is a choice. We make choices every day, from what to wear to how we respond to a particular situation, however, how many of these so-called choices are unconscious and may promote self-sabotaging behavior. I don’t think most people out there would willingly attest “I choose to be an addict” or “I choose to be beaten every day” or “I choose to file bankruptcy.” The choices that leave us feeling shamed and unworthy (and we know this deep-down, don’t we?), are the ones which we seem to have no apparent control over. Until we can re-write that part of the brain to override these poor choice, sometimes we continue to make the same choices repeatedly.
"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." -- Albert Einstein
At some point, something snaps and kicks into high gear, and realization hits like a lightning bolt that you know you deserve more out of life. You no longer have to settle. Don’t let your childhood and negative experiences serve as a hindrance to the greatness that you are here to be. Be your own hero/heroine because nobody is going to save you. We are all sovereign on our life path and yes, we have people whom aid and help us on our journey, but we are soly responsible for ourselves.
© 2019 by Jodi Lawyer, M.A., OTR/L. Helix Healing Path. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author name and a working link back to this website. All other uses are strictly prohibited.